Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:17 GMT

Not many people, in this room, know, but I never knew my real father - when I was born, he disowned
me; therefore, I have shown no interest in attempting to contact him, and my natural mother has
done everything in her power to discourage me..
My stepfather and I have never 'got on,' so to speak, and when my half brother and sister were born
(in 1962 and 1963 respectively) I was, well and truly 'left out..'
A few years ago, I suffered a truly horrendous experience (too embarrassing to describe on here) and
I have only just revealed secrets of this to my stepdad, whose only comment was "Don't tell Mum -
she has enough problems, as it is.."
Because of the horrendous experience, I decided to change my name (reverting to the old family name,
and rejecting my stepfather's)..
Now, I am being pilloried by my "family," when all I want is a little freedom, happiness, and the
chance to rebuild my life...
Two weeks ago, they asked me over for Christmas - there is no room at Mum's (other visitors), so my
Aunt (who is visiting her daughter in Cheltenham) told me I could stay there.. I later discovered
that she had no-one to 'cat sit'...
Also, having bought a number of Christmas gifts, I was promised a lift to Derby..
Tonight, "Dad" has phoned and said that if I am coming over, then I must make my own way..
To be honest, I am happy to stay here in Matlock, over Christmas; I have good friends here - but do
not want to antagonise the "family" further.. Any suggestions from the sagacious branch of the BR?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® mouse (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:21 GMT

Fuck em!
It seems to me that you're worrying too much about pleasing your family - where they seem to have
done you little favour in return.
If you really don't want to antagonise them explain that you are unable to make it, and your reasons
why, and then go out and enjoy yourself!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:23 GMT

Thank you mate! You have reinforced what I already thought...!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® mouse (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:26 GMT

Not a problem - glad to be of service!
If it helps at all, both me and harpie had the same immediate response to your posting.
Have fun!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:28 GMT

I shall have fun, all right! They will get a shock, in the morning, when I decline their
"invitation" and decide to stay here, where I now consider I belong..!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Cam (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:29 GMT

I'm with mouse on this one, tony. Do whatever makes you happy.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:31 GMT

Thank you, Cam - I am feeling stronger, already..

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Jes (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:51 GMT

They're not being very nice to you, are they? Your stepdad phones the day before Christmas eve
& says 'make your own way there'? If you'd rather stay with your friends, then just do it!
Sod 'em. If u wanna save their feelings, say u can't get there.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 23 Dec 2001 at 23:57 GMT

Glad I posted this now - you are all saying exactly what I want to hear, and, above all, what I know
is RIGHT!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® adl (in Canada) 24 Dec 2001 at 00:08 GMT

Tony - I agree. This is a two-way street. Why should you be the one to make all the effort? Perhaps
if you put your foot down this year someone will take notice and in future they'll begin to treat
you a) like a person and b) like a member of the family.

I can understand about transportation schedules changing, but your step dad could probably have
found a more diplomatic way to state it.

But look if it's going to a be strained holiday, why go? Why not be among people you actually want
to be among?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Moloch (in Australia) 24 Dec 2001 at 00:46 GMT

Hi Tony

Sounds like the men in your family are a bunch of worthless shits at best.

If your stepfather thinks ignorance is kindness I'd suggest putting a large distance between him and
you ASAP.

Send them a signed photo to put in your place and have fun with your friends...

Moloch xxx

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 00:46 GMT

Thank you, adl - my decision is now firmly made - I am NOT going; besides, a friend of mine wants to
meet for a few pints, tomorrow night, and I have not seen him for ages - then home to my OWN place
- bliss!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 00:48 GMT

Moloch, Just read your posting, as well - I shall act on this sound advice..Thanks...!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 01:55 GMT

Now I know it's Christmas - unusually I find myself in total agreement with all said so far, Tony.

I go one step further, as I speak from experience VERY similar to your own. Christmas being the time
of peace on earth, goodwill to all men etc ad nauseam, make THEIR day by telling them what a load
of arseholes they all are and if you see them again in 20 years' time it'll be too soon.

Used to stress very badly over this problem at Xmas and Birthdays - until a good friend said "thank
God we can choose our friends, 'cos you sure are stuck with your family". Life's far too short to
waste time on people who don't deserve it, and as for that "blood's thicker than water" shit you'll
hear people moan - try pouring a pint of each down the sink and see what's left next time you go
look. Not enough to stress over, but yes, the blood tends to leave more of a stain. One quick
rinse, though...........;)

You made the right decision, which we helped you reinforce, and you know what - this alone has made
my Christmas! Good luck to you!

Yea, I know, where would the Afghan refugees be if the people in WFP and Red Cross all took my
attitude, but it's really NOT the same issue, is it?! Happy Christmas, dcfctony

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 04:28 GMT

Thank you, so much, insomniac, I have just read that!! I shall have a far better time, tomorrow,
with my mate, than with that load of sanctimonious twats..
Yes!! It's late - Yes!! I have consumed some wine, but, by God, I shall make my feelings known,
later!! Thanks to all on here - and have the best possible Christmas, and New Year.. lol..

Tony xx

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® adl (in Canada) 24 Dec 2001 at 04:59 GMT

Tony - the one person to consider in all this is your mother. For whatever reason, she seems silent
on all this. I don't know if she's tried to be a peacemaker or suffers from being bullied by
others. Try to not make it too difficult for her. Sometimes when we blow off steam we hurt not just
others, but ourselves. I believe in being truthful and candid, but not necessarily vicious -- by
that I mean some moderation so that her holiday isn't spent in tears and feeling like a failure.
Now, that's written with the assumption that you and her have good or modestly good relations. I'm
sort of playing Devil's Advocate.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Thyme (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 08:06 GMT

I was going to make much the same point as Adl. Mothers have a hard time at Christmas, they bear
the brunt of the stress in shopping, cooking and preparing the house, writing the cards and
ensuring that they are posted in time, wrapping the presents and dressing the tree. It is a very
stressful time for mums. If you have any compassion for anyone in your family then it should be
for your mum. Give her a ring and talk to her, let her know that it is not her fault and wish her
a Happy Christmas. Then go with your friends and have a happy time yourself knowing that you have
not ruined your mum's day.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® the enema within™ (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 09:35 GMT

fuck 'em! It's your life and you get on with it - without them. I have had similar problems and
don't let it get to me - choose some good friends - they'll be far better than the shower of a
family you (and I) appear to be stuck with!

festive enema. x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Her Grace (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 10:28 GMT

I agree with Adl. Your Mother is the one person to consider in all this and if it were me I would
adopt a gentle tone so as not to hurt her feelings. I rather think she probably dreads Christmas
and finds herself a 'victim' in all this.

Of the more outspoken members I would observe that I have found it best not to adopt so aggressive a
tone. Once said something can not be unsaid. But then neither ought to be oppressed by them, so
gentle and firm is the right balance. One can be charming and gracious while telling someone they
are a total waste of space. I was always one of the more feared members of the House of Lords !

As to your 'family' as a whole I would merely remark that I have spent most of my life giving way to
the views and feelings of others. It has availed me nothing.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 11:10 GMT

Well, I have rang my stepfather this morning, and had a blazing row - further proof that my decision
is the right one..!

I hear what you say about Mum, but she is as guilty as Dad, in a sense - despite the fact I have
changed my name (back to the original family name) she stubbornly refuses to accept this, and
continues to address mail to the 'old' name - this brings back very unhappy memories for me...

My 'new' name is legal, having been done via deed poll, so she is merely being obstinate, and I feel
I should stand my ground, on this...

I should like to thank you all for your expert guidance, in this matter - going out for lunch now
(treating myself!) and will be back on here later..

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year..

Tony xx

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 11:13 GMT

Sorry, you lot of (nice) appeasers! You're talking about your own mums and trying to extend it to
others' mums. It isn't valid. Many mums are martyrs because they choose to be, and if they keep
quiet just to keep the peace then they deserve all they get heaped on them. My own mother is one
such as this. Make your minds up whether emancipation is a solid argument and cause, or not - you
can't backpedal just when it suits and then shove the barrow out again when it doesn't, and much as
it would be a lovely thing in an ideal world, it's not possible to please all of the people all of
the time.

By all means be nice to your mum, dcfc, if you feel she deserves it, but NOT for its own sake! Enjoy
your time with your own friends, and in your own place, and let the "family" ponder your reasons
(stated or not) for your no-show!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® nowtas (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 11:28 GMT

God bless ya tony, and have a funky chrimbo now love. And i'll send you a suitably polite and
restrained message tomorrow, you ravenous sex beast you!

Question - who will look after the cats now?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
Anonymous 24 Dec 2001 at 11:31 GMT

Snowy?????????????

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
Iceman (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 11:33 GMT

I have to say I know how you feel Tony, I also have major problems with my family and I would only
afford to put the Thames between us.

But Christmas is a time for family and as much as I hate going there, it brings back all the old
memories and feelings. My mum has never been happy with me being gay and only in the year or so
Johan and I were dating (sorry I can't say dating as we were in a relationship and living together)
did she start to come around. She knows that we have broken up now and yesterday on the phone said
will don't you think it's time to get a woman and settle down. I just said I'm gay and I would not
be happy, and was told oh that doesnt matter something is better than nothing.

so as you can guess I'm not looking forward to Christmas for that an other family problems, in fact
I've always hated Christmas but for 2 days in the year (last Christmas eve to evening Boxing Day) I
forget what I want and go. the rest of the year I class as mine to do with as I like


Not sure if that helps or not but that's me <grin>

Iceman
x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 11:40 GMT

What a nice man you are, Iceman. Silly, but nice!
"Something's better than nothing!" Oh, really???
Only my opinion, of course! We all have to live with the decisions we make, but I think to swallow
your principles for 2 days and live them for the other 363 days somewhat demolishes the whole
point!
Anyway, I respect your feelings - I simply don't agree! Hope it's not TOO painful for you.

Should I give in - or be strong?
® River Thames (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 12:03 GMT

((((((tony))))))

I know exactly what you're going through, I have a *very* selfish and arrogant mother, who must have
*her* way in everything, but, after years of pandering to her I don't anymore, and *you* can be
strong aswell tony, do what *you* want, because the more you pander, the less you're thought of,
and anyway, life is too short.

You have yourself a real good Christmas, and don't you waste time feeling guilty, as I have,
because *they* won't ((((((tony))))))

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 12:05 GMT

well, not much to be said from little old me is there! I pretty much agree with pretty much
everything that has been said before, and to add to it would seem pointless.

Except for this...

dc, you say that your mum still posts to you using your old name. Without going into detail, what
does she post to you? Is it mail being forwarded, or does she write to you? If it's not 'important'
post, why not send it back to her saying that no one with that name lives at your address? It's
probably a bad idea, but it was the first thing i thought of when i read that she still writes to
you with your old name.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
Iceman (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 13:57 GMT

Insomniac: I know what you are saying but after years of fighting I find it easier for 2 days not to
fight it out, I've had 10 years on non-stop fighting, I don't have the strentgh for it anymore. So
2 days I say nothing and the rest of the time I don't see the family much so I don't care what they
say or think and will get you know what I think, it's my Christmas gift to them if you like.

Tony I have you have a great time mate and that things with you and your family do inmprove.
<<<Tony>>>

Iceman
x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:24 GMT

Just got back from a nice steak dinner, in Matlock, washed down with liberal helpings of Claret -AND
I feel 100% better, now..!!

There have been no phone calls from home, which just proved what a selfish and arrogant pair they
really are!

Yes, LI, Mum still believes in writing quaint 'snail mail' letters, despite the fact there is a
computer in the house.. And yes, she deliberatly uses my stepdad's surname, which really upsets me,
as we are not REMOTELY related, and, to be frank, I detest ALL his family..

I like your idea of returning mail to sender, and, indeed, I shall do this, in the New Year, should
any further letters arrive, bearing that unwanted name!

As far as I am concerned, they can b******s now!

Christmas is suddenly looking a far more attractive proposition!

As for the cat, well "dad" was going to run me, to and fro, from 'cat sitting,' anyway, so he can
bloody well feed it himself..

The days of my being a 'patsy' for all and sundry are well and truly OVER!

Thanks, once again, my friends - I KNEW you wouldn't let me down, on this one...

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:27 GMT

(in a jerry springer/cheerleader stylee)

go dc! go dc! go dc!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:29 GMT

and something that I've just realised whilst reading your post dc. I can't remember the last time i
wrote a letter! isn't that awful?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:31 GMT

Thanks, LI, mate - a nice victory over West Ham, on Boxing Day, would be the 'icing on the Christmas
cake!'

I am now looking forward to lunch with my ex, and his family, tomorrow - No bad atmosphere, plenty
to drink, and a few laughs....Ahhhh!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:33 GMT

sounds good to me! are you going to pull crackers, wear silly paper hats and laugh at obscenely crap
jokes?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:38 GMT

Well, you know me, mate... I am always looking to 'pull' -


Paper hats, maybe.. Crap jokes, definitely!!

Queen's speech? I don't know about that!!!!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:40 GMT

I notice no mention of crackers dc. or will
you be the only one?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® adl (in Canada) 24 Dec 2001 at 14:49 GMT

Insomniac - I wasn't projecting about my mother. It was an observation about the shit roles women
have had in society for a very long time. As gay men we can appeciate some of it, but not all. And,
if as I suspect, that Tony's mother is of an age and background where women deferred to men, she
probably suffers in silence just to keep peace.

I was at a funeral three days ago and the widow, an 80-year-old woman, was happy as hell. It was
like she was hosting a cocktail party. Now, maybe she was on medication, or maybe she was just
relieved.

I dearly loved my father, but I know that he didn't always make life easy for my mother. Then again,
that seems to be a family trait.

Tony - as for returning the mail to your mother, I would wait until she's written you another
letter, read it and then write her back and say as a point of principle you won't accept any more
letters with that name on it, that she will have to understand you have made a choice and that this
is it. That furture correspondence will be in your chosen name or not at all. Otherwise it seems as
if you're outright rejecting her and she won't understand the point you're making. Explain that
point clearly.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Thyme (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 15:01 GMT

Tony you should maybe look at things from your mother's perspective just for a moment. Presumeably
she loves her man and will therefore do anything to please him including hoping that you will come
back to the family and accept his name - the name she loves - as your own. I have a nephew, my
brother's child who has adopted his step father's name. We were furious at the beginning but now
we see that he is still the same cheeky boy and that, as shakespear said,"a rose by any other name
would smell as sweet". Perhaps your mother just does not realise the depth of your feelings.

Insomniac I have had no mother since I was orphaned when I was very young. My opinions about a
mother's role are based on observations and have little or nothing to do with emancipation.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
Iceman (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 15:24 GMT

Tony: sounds like you are set to have a great time, enjoy it mate.

Iceman
x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 24 Dec 2001 at 15:47 GMT

adl, and Thyme - I hear what you say, but the reason I rejected the name goes far deeper than I can
allow myself to describe on here.. It goes back to a very serious incident when I was younger, and,
unfortunately, my mother does not know the details... No, my stepfather was not involved, but he
knows of the incident, and the subsequent trauma caused, BUT he will not tell Mum about it, so this
leaves a rather tricky situation for me.. Unless she is told, she will never understand, and will
continue to send mail bearing the old name.. If she WAS told (and I think she has a RIGHT TO KNOW)
then she would be devastated, but would, at least, understand the reasons for my actions. adl, I
shall take your advice, regarding the 'returned' mail, and will spend Christmas and New Year
pondering my next move..
Finally, Iceman, many thanks for your comment, which is much appreciated.. lol Tony..

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 06:03 GMT

I hear you Iceman, and Adl, and Thyme.

Iceman, I understand where you're coming from. From my viewpoint, best of all would be to remove the
faintest possibility of fighting - don't go! You choose to, it's not a big deal. I've just had
enough with my lot! To thine own self be true, is my attitude these days.

Adl. Okay, fine - but you're making the same point as I am! The only diff is that I don't think
women *should put up with boorish men, and if they do so in THIS era then more fool them. I cannot
do anything about ages gone by, nor can anybody else, but a woman long so downtrodden can yet stamp
back! Stuff the turkey with laxative mix, for instant - or better still announce "this year
there's no turkey unless you lot take me out to a place that's serving it up!"

Thyme, see above - and I'm sorry you never knew the experience. The bright side is that you didn't
cop the crap that can go with it.

Dcfc - LI says his most sensible thing all year - I'd also send back the letters with the simple
over-script "Return To Sender - not known at this address". I'd probably stir, and write "RTS -
Deceased". That usually gives them a start! Still, a tad unkind! She'll soon stop once you've told
her that all such incorrectly-addressed mail will be sent back. Tell the step-dad you always hated
him, and now you've had a legal change you simply refuse to acknowledge his name as having any
relationship to your own.

Glad you're enjoying your Christmas - you've turned a very important corner - stick with it, and let
THEM do the adjusting for a change!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 10:42 GMT

me? say something sensible?!

well, like vanessa williams, I save
the best til last!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® River Thames (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 10:44 GMT

Hiya LI, Merry Christmas!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® mouse (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 11:26 GMT

Gotta agree with Insomniac to a point!
Not all mothers are saints, and dcfctony seems to suggest that his mother is as much to blame as
anyone else - so why treat her any different to anyone else?
However, Insomniac seems to be doing what he says you lot are doing - projecting his experiences of
mothers onto all mothers. As I said, not all mothers are saints - but not all mothers are bitches
either!
As for saying all women should hit back at their husbands if they're trodden on - I wish it was as
easy as that! My sister gets enough rough treatment for doing fuck all to agrovate her husband -
and god knows what he'd do to her if she did agrovate him!
Not a real pleasant subject to be talking about at Xmas - but whilst you're opening your pressies
and drinking and eating too much, perhaps you might take a moment to think how lucky we are!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 14:38 GMT

But mouse - help your sister leave him, and take half of everything, or lend her the money to hire a
hit man. Don't want to oversimplify, but nobody should have to put up with crap like that. Some
people turn making excuses into an art form, do nothing, continue to suffer, waste their lives on
worthless people. It's not always easy, I know, but evil persists where good men do nothing - or
something like that.

And I'm trying more to empathise with dcfc than I am to criticise anybody else, so I don't accept
your comment about not practising what I'm preaching, and I don't mean to preach at all, really!
Still, I can see how you come to say it!

Anyway, the main thing is that Tony has taken a course that suits his own situation, and we in here
seem to have helped him considerably, you and me included. That's a good thing!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® adl (in Canada) 25 Dec 2001 at 14:57 GMT

"lend her the money to hire a hit man"

You know damn well people never repay these loans.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
L.I. (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 18:50 GMT

Merry Christmas to you too RT (and Botman of course!)

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 22:31 GMT

Just come back on here, briefly, to thank everyone, again, for some very sound advice.. I have had a
wonderful day, and not one call from my parents - to me, this is a vindication of my actions - and
proof that they don't really give a flying f*** about me, or how I am going on..

Will be back on here, later, for further discussion, and hope everyone had as good a day as I have..
lol Tony..

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® nowtas (in the United Kingdom) 25 Dec 2001 at 23:59 GMT

We all give a flying fuck about u babe. Any kind of fuck could be given if u ask nicely.

Personally, i find your mother almost completely above reproach. After all, she gave birth to an
extremely attractive, strong and intelligent child.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® insomniac (in the United Kingdom) 26 Dec 2001 at 00:58 GMT

Did you mean to leave out the bit about you always being a keen Derby County supporter too, Nowtas?

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® nowtas (in the United Kingdom) 26 Dec 2001 at 01:13 GMT

?!?!?!

I'M A POMPEY BOY YOU FREAK!!!

I just want to see Derby and Ipswich and co. pick up some points and get into a bigger bunch before
relegation becomes a certainty for anyone too early in the season.

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 26 Dec 2001 at 02:39 GMT

LOL@Blue Room.... Back again, later today, and thanks for your wise advice....


And a special 'thank you' to you, Nowtas, my mate, for your comments....

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
Iceman (in the United Kingdom) 26 Dec 2001 at 19:12 GMT

Will, what can I say? I did my time, hated every minute of it, the fights started as always, by the
end of Christmas eve I was at the end of my wits, Yesterday was worse and today I kept thinking
it's time to leave soon, juts anyother few hours......

Iceman
x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 26 Dec 2001 at 23:24 GMT

An update on the events of Christmas 2001...
Decided, as you already know, to spend Christmas with friends, instead of my "family"....

I have been treated like royalty, by my ex's parents - no expense spared, and wonderful
hospitality..

Not ONE phone message from "home," suggesting that a very serious rift has been opened..

I don't give a f***!! THEY have caused all the problems, by their totally unreasonable behaviour,
and now they cannot accept that 'the worm has finally turned.'

Going to a birthday party, tomorrow night, at my local, 'The Red Lion'... should be a good night,
amongst tried and trusted friends..

It is now up to my parents whether or not they want to heal the rift..after all, they opened it, in
the first place..!

I regret nothing I have done this Christmas....

Thank you all, once again, for your sound advice, which has probably saved my sanity....

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Iceman (in the United Kingdom) 27 Dec 2001 at 16:16 GMT

I'm glad that you had a great time tony and I think I might follow you next year


<tony>

Iceman
x

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Tintin (in the United Kingdom) 27 Dec 2001 at 18:13 GMT

Coming a bit late to this, but what can I say but 'forget family Christmases, spend the festive
nonsense the way you choose and with the people you choose, and choose them for the good company
they are, not by virtue of being related to you'. It works!

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® dcfctony (in the United Kingdom) 27 Dec 2001 at 23:30 GMT

Tintin, my friend, it HAS worked.... There will be repercussions - "sod 'em!!" lol Tony..

Re: Should I give in - or be strong?
® Tintin (in the United Kingdom) 28 Dec 2001 at 14:04 GMT

Quite!