Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 11 Nov 1999 at 15:05 GMT

Went to the theatre last evening. Thought it might be a good place to meet Mr Right (well you have to have a strategy). Off I went early. Sat in the bar with me diet coke ('cos Steven thinks I'm cuddly) eyeing up the talent.
As Vince would say: It was like an audition for 'Cocoon 3'
Full of old people, like really old people. Perhaps it was pensioners concessions day.
I was very discouraged.
Does anyone have anygood tips for where to meet Mr.Right. I'm not doing very well.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Zebedee 11 Nov 1999 at 15:10 GMT

You only had to ask tee, hee
But I think ur right, Wednesdays are *always* pensioner concession day where ever you go, what ever you do! (even B and Q!!)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Dom 11 Nov 1999 at 15:55 GMT

I honestly don't know, I have tried contact ads, dating agencies, pubs, clubs and so forth (even here). I have to admit I have met a real mixed bag some nice some not so nice, but no Mr Right. (Gosh I sound like the Prince in the Princess and the Pea). And I am sorry I just can't help.
However keep looking.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
jamie 11 Nov 1999 at 16:05 GMT

Why is it that you can't meet blokes in a gay pub and just talk? Why does everything revolve around sex? I'm in a new area and trying to meet likeminded people is near on impossible! Why?!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Tigger 11 Nov 1999 at 16:45 GMT

Most of us find talking to someone in a gay pub a hugely daunting thing. Yet we don't find it so daunting to speak to someone in a supermarket queue or in a straight pub. The difference is that in a gay pub it will be assumed that if we address someone it is likely to be because we want to have sex with them. And because the whole thing is so daunting, there is no point of nerving yourself up to talk to someone unless you really do want to have sex with them. That is why I think there's no casual chatting for the sake of chatting in gay pubs.
I find I can only talk to people whom it is obvious I could not conceivably want to have sex with, i.e. women and old men.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
chinewrde 11 Nov 1999 at 16:55 GMT

bollocks, i've fallen into conversation with people in gay bars and not slept with them or even have sex on the agenda. i'll agree that some pubs are easier than others, but having said that, i met a couple of really nice guys in CXR (v. cruisy london bar) and had a lovely evening of conversation )

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 11 Nov 1999 at 17:00 GMT

I got the idea of going to the theatre (=hanging about in the theatre bar an hour before the play) from a friend who took a 'How to find Mr Right' course. They recommended book shops, meuseums, art galleries and theatres, etc etc. Obviously this was in the US!
I find it OK talkng to blokes in bars so long as I have decided before hand that I am not going to drag anyone home after. I would arrange a 'date'.
The play was 'The importace of being Earnest'. I am not quite that bad yet but time marches on...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
chinewrde 11 Nov 1999 at 17:05 GMT

how about volunteering for GMFA? they were doing a fund raiser last week and most of them were fucking gorgeous! you'd be doing some good work too

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 11 Nov 1999 at 17:05 GMT

Awww Robert, I am a decent bloke!!! Now book your easy-jet flight and come to me. And I didn't say you were cuddly, I said I want to cuddle you. Does that make any sense? I hope so. Alright then, booked your ticket? When are you going to arrive?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 11 Nov 1999 at 17:05 GMT

What's GMFA?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Paul 11 Nov 1999 at 17:30 GMT

That is a joke. Someone went on a ' how to find Mr. Right ' course. Please tell me it's a joke!!!!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Max 11 Nov 1999 at 17:45 GMT

Isn't there a book with that title? Or is it the the book of the film? I'm sure I saw it in Provincetown last year.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 12 Nov 1999 at 09:05 GMT

No Paul it's true, honest. In St Louis Missouri.
I was there for a week and found a gem of a man just by going line-dancing (i'm an anthropologist, it was research, honest - OK I'm lying...)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Dom 12 Nov 1999 at 09:40 GMT

Unfortunately English blokes and American blokes are a different species. I had a guy crusing me on the tube while reading '100 great chat up lines'. I nearly died of laughing. Just out of curiosity what is your definition of a 'decent bloke'/

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 12 Nov 1999 at 10:00 GMT

Dom,
that has cheered me up!
But you're right what is a decent bloke? The following are factors for me (in order, and smoking disqualifies utterly)
personality
sexual compatability
physical attractiveness
compatable ages
ability to build house extensions is quite important at the moment

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 12 Nov 1999 at 10:05 GMT

I'm smoking. Dear, I guess I'm out then (of the running for Robert's heart). Weep weep sob sob ...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 12 Nov 1999 at 10:10 GMT

I don't believe it - YOU A SMOKER!
I'm inconsolable

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
simon 12 Nov 1999 at 10:15 GMT

GMFA - Gay Men Fighting AIDS : http://www.demon.co.uk/gmfa/
Or infact any organisation, where you can show yourself to be a truely charitable and damn decent sorta chap is a good move.
Clubs and bars generally suck for meeting people who may want something more than a one night of drunken passion.
I've come to the conclusion that friends and introductions are the way to go. Xmas is approaching - go to EVERY party and get introduced to EVERY person there.
Male / Female / Straight / Gay - whatever - you never know who will be mr. right or know someone who might be.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 12 Nov 1999 at 10:30 GMT

Simon, you're quite right I think. I believe that I'll find my Mr. Right (since I'm out for Robert) one day by being introduced to a friend's friend or by bumping into him in the supermarket or by spotting him in the streets. Bars and clubs suck!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Dom 12 Nov 1999 at 10:50 GMT

I agree with personality, sexual compatability, physical attractiveness, compatable ages bit but not necessarily in the same order. However I would list compatable interests as fairly high. However ability to build extensions is a new one, however I have built a kitchen, does that count?
(In fact maybe you should hang out in builders providers!!!)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
albino twat! 12 Nov 1999 at 11:05 GMT

1.not obsessed with being gay 2.nice personality 3.nice lookin' (whatever THAT means) 4.ability to handle drink 5. music taste or at least be open minded.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 12 Nov 1999 at 11:15 GMT

Sorry my last posting on this went into the 'Granby in Reading thread'.
Good idea the volunteer work bit - I got me 1st bf when I was a samaritans (sigh). But generally I wouldn't recommend them as their mostly old ladies, and it's all a bit depressing.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 12 Nov 1999 at 11:20 GMT

What about Gay sports clubs? We have gay swimming club, gay tennis, gay volleyball, gay aerobic (or should I say camp aerobics)...
I intend to go to the gay volley or swimming in near future as soon as I've stopped my addiction which is smoking. (This was not very nice Robert!)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 12 Nov 1999 at 12:00 GMT

We don't have very many gay anythings about here. We did have a gay hill walking group which was quite good for hill walking, but the talent wasn't up to much.
I know the smoking is a hard thing S. But my last bf was a smoker and it really did become a problem in the end. I even make my mother stand outside when she needs a ciggy. No this isn't cruel and heartless - I don't usually allow smoking on the property at all, but as she doesn't drive it is long way for her to walk to the public road.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 12 Nov 1999 at 12:05 GMT

Hey Robert, I don't allow people to smoke in my flat neither. At my mum's house it is normal that people go outside on the balcony for smoking. This isn't the problem. Being so strict about smokers can't be your boyfriend - that is a problem.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Dom 12 Nov 1999 at 12:20 GMT

Surely smoking is a matter of taste. Is having a bf that smokes such a big deal? If both sides respect the other's opinion then there should not be a problem.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
random 12 Nov 1999 at 18:20 GMT

Not so much the opinion as the taste...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Matt K 13 Nov 1999 at 05:30 GMT

..... I met my long term boyf in a club when all I was really thinking of was a one-night stand..... but we hit it off and that's what mattered in the end..... it didn't matter where we met. I also think I've met decent blokes all over the place..... in a bar, up at Hampstead, on the net, and one of my best friends I met in a place that I won't mention so publicly. Most of the time I'm a decent bloke and I'm in all these places; I love it when people talk to me no matter where I am. Surely everyone is decent given half a chance.....

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Paul 13 Nov 1999 at 10:20 GMT

Robert, I have no idea where to find a decent bloke, I've been looking for 8 yrs and still haven't found one!!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Dom 15 Nov 1999 at 13:20 GMT

Paul, join the club. I had notions when I moved to London that I would have a great career and a fab boyfriend. I kinda got the career part but the bf bit eludes me.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
apo 15 Nov 1999 at 15:50 GMT

I have met 2 or 3 Mr. Right types, but each time it was just the wrong time. Sounds like I'm bragging, but maybe I'm just not so choosey--as long as they're beautiful and fuck like a mink, its Right for me. No particular mental attributes required as you have already guessed.
More or less serious--if I were trying to get with a group of guys that supported each other and had a good time and purpose for friendship and maybe the possibility of Mr. Right---I think I'd join the Gay Mens Chorus. Big assortment of men, looks, ages etc and a pretty jolly group I've heard.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Mark D 15 Nov 1999 at 16:05 GMT

I can confirm that getting involved in something like GMFA is an excellent way of increasing your chances of meeting Mr Right.
I met my other 'alf as an indirect consequence of GMFA. Only trouble was, once I'd met him, it left me with hardly any free time to get involved in GMFA's activities - a fact that I feel rather guilty about and hope to remedy in the near future.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Paul 15 Nov 1999 at 18:15 GMT

Dom - I've just given up I just cannot be bothered, you should try Sheffield even less choice plus all the cute one/nice ones are taken.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
apo 15 Nov 1999 at 18:45 GMT

Keep telling you guys--only solution is to move to London. Spoze you could expand the list to include San Francisco, New York, Sydney and Berlin. The density is just too low everyplace else and the closet doors too shut. Being a 'small town queer' is in the TFH Catagory (Too Fucking Hard). If you have to stay in Sheffield maybe you should try importing a bloke.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
simon 16 Nov 1999 at 16:00 GMT

well i can't say that london isn't full of lovely lads, but its also full of self-obsessed tossers too.
you could meet mr right at any time, no matter where you are on planet earth. statistically it is likely to happen in a location with more gay guys than not - but hey who knows.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
apo 16 Nov 1999 at 16:35 GMT

Its a real dice game unless you have sufficient density. You need lots and lots of meat if you want to meet mr right.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Toptom 16 Nov 1999 at 16:35 GMT

d'you mean meat of your own, or kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
moloch 16 Nov 1999 at 16:35 GMT

LOL

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 16 Nov 1999 at 17:15 GMT

Actually,
I have just remembered that I have met some very nice chaps on line. One guy I met about 6 months ago has become a very close friend, and I have met a couple of very promising prospects through him (I'll know more after the weekend).

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 17:35 GMT

Now I'm jealous. I have no one to meet at the weekend... *sob sob*

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 17:50 GMT

Awwww

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 17:50 GMT

A cute decent bloke would do me better than sympathy... Cheers anyway.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 17:55 GMT

How about some advice instead?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:00 GMT

On what? On 'how to overcome low self-esteem in order to finally chat up the guy I facy' ?
Yes please !

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:05 GMT

okay, here goes. ooh! first things first, is he gay?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

Dunno.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

well, first things first - find out. ta da.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

well, first things first - find out. ta da.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

Actually I don't care whether he is or not.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

Then you obviously don't care enough for a relationship.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:10 GMT

Yes I do. But do you care for a relationship with someone you haven't even spoken to yet?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:15 GMT

I don't know, I'm already speaking to him.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:15 GMT

Sorry, not too accustomed to this whole internet chat thing yet. I don't usually flirt (obvious, huh?)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:15 GMT

You lucky sod. I'm going to the gym tonight and I'll put myself together and say hello. Perhaps.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:15 GMT

See? You didn't even realise I was flirting *sob-sob*

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:20 GMT

Oh Dear, there you've got me! I'm sorry. Lonely, you too?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:25 GMT

Ok then. I confess I buggered it up.
*sigh*

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:30 GMT

What, the asking out bit or the flirting bit?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:30 GMT

both apparently...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 16 Nov 1999 at 18:35 GMT

Ryan, gotta go. Speak to you tomorrow if you want.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:35 GMT

It's okay. I was just testing anyway. I've got to practice somewhere.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 16 Nov 1999 at 18:35 GMT

B4 12. Write me at ryan_harwood@usa.net

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
simon 17 Nov 1999 at 10:30 GMT

if there's a wedding, can i come?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 17 Nov 1999 at 10:35 GMT

Who's wedding were you thinking of?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 12:15 GMT

Where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where do I find a cute and decent bloke ?!?!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 17 Nov 1999 at 12:15 GMT

Obviously not in the Alps.
Try the Italian part.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 12:15 GMT

Not an English one that's for sure... sob sob
Was just joking anyway. Wasn't meant to sound that serious.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Ryan_H 17 Nov 1999 at 12:20 GMT

We're not all that bad.
Just 'cos you live somewhere else now, you think you can turn around and piss on the rest of us. I'm insulted.
Heh heh
Not serious! What's your e-mail anyway?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 17 Nov 1999 at 12:50 GMT

Looks like I missed all the fun last night.
Steven - if this wonder-guy is at the gym rush over and ask to spot him if he looks like he going to be lifting anything worth while. It is the classic 'I'm queer and interested, are you?' line for muscle marys.
It is also the perfect way to get within a couple of inches of those broad, deep, sweaty, hairy pecs without having to make him breakfast in the morning.
And/or arrange it so you're getting changed at the same time, talk to him (it doesn't matter what you say) when he is partially of fully naked (you wish) comment on his body 'hey you're in pretty good shape... been training long/ what kinda of program are you using/ do you have a special diet/ perhaps you could give me some tips'
There you go: ice broken, talking about his favorite subject (him), he knows you like his body - if he's gay he'll get the message, if he's str8 he'll just think you are such a cool bloke that you can talk about another guy's body without being scared he'll think you're a shit lifter.
go for it...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 13:45 GMT

Wow Robert, I'm impressed by your frankness! I thought you were so shy ...
For those who care (who the hell cares?!) He didn't even show up yesterday.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 17 Nov 1999 at 14:55 GMT

...oh that should've been 'shirt lifter', although..
Actually I was at ny gym at lunch-time, and there was a very handsome guy there. Surprise surprise I ended up in the showers when he was there - and my oh my was he gorgeous... and really hairy, even his back, and guess what it was quite nice/attractive.
I am now back to the hairy back dilema (yum or yuk). Mine's like a carpet just now...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 14:55 GMT

Isn't there a BR-boy near you? You could tell him your hairy problem and ask him to come over to you. I would I lived near you.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 17 Nov 1999 at 15:05 GMT

I've actually only met one BR boy in person, but he lives a long way away (which is a total tragedy). I've been thinking of going to the beauty parlour and getting a woman to do it - but I just don't like them touching me. You know how it is... still I'm meeting a few mates this weekend and I might get one of them to have a go.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 15:20 GMT

By which treatment do you want to have them removed?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 17 Nov 1999 at 15:35 GMT

I thought the beauty parlour would wax it and my mate could shave it. (Isn't the BR quiet today)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 15:50 GMT

Yeah but WHICH ONE of them? You don't need to wax 'em AND shave 'em! Or are they THAT thick ?
(You're right, shoot me before I die of boredom!)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
chinewrde 17 Nov 1999 at 16:00 GMT

mid-week slump ( thankfully a very nice champagne lunch at the british library has made the afternoon go pretty fast )
so no luck on the decent bloke front then boys?

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Steven 17 Nov 1999 at 16:05 GMT

Why bother asking? You can see yourself that it's bloody quiet today!
I wish I'd had a champagne lunch ! What a luxury!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Tigger 17 Nov 1999 at 16:05 GMT

I've been to the BL once, to join, but I haven't been since as I don't actually need to use it. I thought there were plenty of nice men there, literally dozens of potential Mr Rights, but unfortunately they were all busy reading. Probably all straight in any case.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
chinewrde 17 Nov 1999 at 16:15 GMT

i renewed my readers card today but didnt see any decent totty

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Robert 17 Nov 1999 at 16:35 GMT

Books now they have potential:
You should try sitting in a very obvious place (like in the window of a cafe, or in a pub) reading some gay classic - 'a boy's own story' springs to mind - and see what comes along.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
apo 17 Nov 1999 at 16:50 GMT

good idea, bad book--try 'The Long Firm' London Gangster book with a big gay twist. Great read and queer from page 1

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Will 17 Nov 1999 at 18:25 GMT

Come to Durham!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Mark-C 19 Nov 1999 at 16:50 GMT

Thanks for that sugestion if you would like to talk and get to know each other e-mail me at Mcrosby99@aol.com hope to hear from you soon

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Paul 21 Nov 1999 at 23:20 GMT

You could alway try my site?
http://www.geocities.com/paulro31/
New, but I want to help guys in the UK to find love and Friendship!
Paul

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
John 22 Nov 1999 at 20:35 GMT

I met a really lovely, decent, tender guy at Oxford St tube station, and in a restaurant.
For some really decent talent guys, take a stroll around Heal's on a sunday afternoon. The scenery is breathtaking, the guys (I'd reckon) have a fair pile of cash, and taste aplenty. Happy shopping!
Just to be real for a moment here, surely most guys are at least half decent given half a chance.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 22:55 GMT

I'm so decent I think I'm indecent. I'm also very alone (ahhhhhhh!).

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Peter 29 Dec 1999 at 23:05 GMT

Athos, do we know you, introduce yourself and your (in)decency! We'll try to set you up . . .

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 23:10 GMT

Peter, yes we do! Perhaps I used another name when we last spoke (not been in for a while).
I'm 33, tall, dark & handsome, witty, charming, great company etc etc, oh, & did I say modest (& not a bad cook either!) <br>

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Peter 29 Dec 1999 at 23:10 GMT

Oh OK it all makes sense now!!! (?!) Well, anyone who's a good cook is welcome - just made myself the most fabulous melanzane I mean eggplant I mean aubergine parmigiana, one of my favourite dishes.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 23:15 GMT

Mmmmm sounds good Peter. I slummed it tonight and had dinner at Wetherspoons!!!!

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Peter 29 Dec 1999 at 23:15 GMT

Oo-er! Can't afford to go out for dinner, nor even to the pub . . . went to the sales yesterday and the bottle shop today.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 23:20 GMT

2 meals for a fiver as well! Still, if you've spent all your money at the sales and the offie then I've got no sympathy for you - starve yourself on Vodka (that's what I'm doing)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Peter 29 Dec 1999 at 23:25 GMT

Starve myself?! Never!! Food is not that expensive (my melanzane parmigiana cost a total of what, 3 pounds, and is enough for two big meals). Vodka seems rather popular in the BR, can't say I'm a big fan, though there is a bottle of Stolly in the freezer . . .

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 23:35 GMT

Peter, take it out of the freezer, drop in a Vanilla pod and leave it in the airing cupboard for a few days. Then stick it back in the freezer until chill enough to sip. MMmmmmm.
Many other flavours to try if you don't like vanilla (but I think you do!)

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Bass 29 Dec 1999 at 23:40 GMT

Athos are you the handsome version of myself?
: )
Have a nice time over the New Year you both...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Peter 29 Dec 1999 at 23:40 GMT

Bass, HNY etc etc to you too and we will catch up, enjoy travel etc etc.
Athos, what a good idea . . . as you know I ADORE vanilla (hence I wear Gucci Envy: vanilla pod meets thurible).

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Athos 29 Dec 1999 at 23:45 GMT

Bass, have a good one!
Peter, I knew it!! youve got such good taste! enjoy.

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Bass 29 Dec 1999 at 23:45 GMT

Ok, Peter... HNY2U2...
Will talk again when I come back...

Re: Where to get a decent bloke?
Bass 29 Dec 1999 at 23:50 GMT

Cheers Athos. Enjoy the New Year you too... )